Frankly, I'm sort of ambivalent about Valentine's Day. The arteries of it are clogged with hackneyed greeting cards and performance anxiety and stultifying expectations. But here's what my computer found, from a truthy sort of piece I started writing about the planets:
PLUTO– Scientists no longer consider Pluto a planet, but rather our Solar System’s second-largest plutoid. And if this sounds like a big consolation prize, the astronomical equivalent of a Valentine from your mom, you are right. It is.
I sympathize with Pluto, as scientists recently phoned to tell me that I could no longer be considered fully human, but would henceforth be known as the world’s second-handsomest adamrexian. I thanked them, expressed my appreciation that they called me personally rather than just letting me hear about it in the media, then spent the next several days staring searchingly into mirrors and crying myself to sleep.
And, because most of you probably come here to look at pictures, here's a rejected cover sketch for a humor anthology I'm illustrating–the first of a number of anthologies published under the umbrella of Jon Scieszka's GUYS READ. More on this anthology to come. For now I'll just say I consider this possibly the best failed cover idea in my history as a cover artist.