Those are a couple of Kaiju Haikus from my latest book, Frankenstein Takes the Cake. "Kaiju" means "strange beast" or "monster" in Japanese. A haiku (and I realize most of you know this already) is a kind of Japanese poem that usually has five syllables, then seven syllables, then five. Here's a not very good haiku that explains what a haiku is:
First, five syllables,
and then seven syllables,
and then five again.
This is all a very simple explanation of haiku, but I bring it up because I'm having a CONTEST! A KAIJU HAIKU CONTEST!
-Submit your best haiku about monsters in the comments. You can also email them here, if you prefer, and I'll post them. It doesn't have to be about a Japanese monster, it can be about any monster or monsters. Even one you made up yourself.
-It DOES have to be 5/7/5, like the examples above.
-You must include your age. The grand prize will go to a kid, but adults can win as well.
-I'll delete any entries I consider inappropriate.
-I'll take haiku entries through creepy Friday the 17th.
-Afterward, the winner will be selected by celebrity judges. I'll announce who these people are soon.
GRAND PRIZE: The kid who wrote the winning entry will receive an illustration of their haiku, drawn by me. It will be on fancy art paper and suitable for framing. This kid will also receive a signed copy of Frankenstein Takes the Cake, a set of Frankenstein wedding bubbles, and a Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich lunchbox filled with weird things.THREE RUNNERS-UP, of any age, will each receive a signed copy of Frankenstein Takes the Cake with his or her haiku illustrated on the title page.
Teachers! Want to submit the entries of your entire class at once? Post them all together in one comment, or email them to me and I'll do it.
Enter Now! Enter often!
77 comments:
the corpse is burned up
the ash rains down around us
zombie dead in bloom
um, she typed sheepishly, I forgot to add that I'm 43.
Hey, you didn't define kid. Does it help that I'm hopelessly immature? (I'm 53.) (And, a huge fan.)
____________
widow's peak and black cape
flutters through the starry night
makes your blood run...wet
_____________
Mothra is mighty foe.
Sheepra quivers in fright. Oh!
Where is Mothballra?!
From my husband Casey, 31:
Hippopotamus,
scary mask, mouth gaping wide
he slobbered on us.
We just read Frankenstein Takes the Cake, and the two haikus you posted here were Casey's favorites. My favorite part was The Best Man of Frankenstein Makes a Trip to the Buffet. Very creative.
Oh man, this is too good to pass up!
The moon is high and full
Can’t--seem--to look--away--Oooooo!
Werewolf rhapsody
Have you seen my hand?
The living dead walk the earth
A worm’s in my ear.
Silly Frankenstein
Using a criminal’s brain.
What did you expect?
Creeps and spooks and ghouls
Hags and a goblin that drools
Strange? Nah, that stuff rules!
Big fan of Rex and Haiku at 37 big ones old. Heh heh. This is gonna be fun!
Slimy and alone
From the Black Lagoon he comes
He sure likes that girl
Hi Adam-
I have two from my daughter:
(this one is 100% her creation)
Monster Lilly Butt
Had no hands but still could walk
She dances and Sings
(I helped her with the 'slithering' word on this one. :) )
Long, Lean, Loud and Mean
Slithering through the grass green
I am Monster Pea.
We had fun at your book reading this evening. Always fun!
Thanks to both of you for coming to see me, Kristen!
What's your daughter's name, and how old is she?
Hello Adam-
My son Jack & I are HUGE fans. I asked him to tell me about monsters and he gave me these 3 lines verbatim:
I love aliens.
One, two, three, four, five of them,
flying in spaceships.
He's 3 1/2. I'm 37 and I don't think I can top that.
I wrote this about my friend whose online name is FlamingCat. She frightens me.
Conflagrant feline
A whiff of brimstone lingers
As you mete your wrath
Jason, 36 years old (today!)
Here are a few more. I'm entering often, like you said.
Big rubber lizard
On MST3000
You are watchable
Why all the stomping?
Those buildings never hurt you.
Are your feet itchy?
Godzilla at home
Has trouble buying slippers
For his reptile feet
You are so awesome
Monster that I just made up
It must be your teeth
Jason, 36
Hi, Adam! I was introduced to your wonderful books and blog via Drawn! I'm 32 (for now) and here is my contribution:
-- Sasquatch: --
Sasquatch is hairy
He's also known as Bigfoot
Never met the guy
-- Nessie: --
Slipping through water
Graceful back breaks the surface
Rarely photographed
-- Yeti: --
Footprints in the snow
Trail off into an ice cave
Abominable
Hi Adam - My daughter is 4. You can email me for more information. I'm sure she'll have more to enter tomorrow.
Okay, one more:
See Godzilla stomp
Buildings sway and tumble down
Someone needs a nap
Flying straight for us
Furry clawed feet, mighty wings
Run and hide! Griffin!
Isaac, age 10
Fuzzy pink monster,
she dances for kids at night.
I want to see her.
Gracie, age 8
One more from I. age 4.
Fee Fee Fi Fo Fum
I Hear Mister Monster Thumb
Oh No. It's just dad.
____________
Rising from the deep
with daggered jaws, jagging fins
Shark-Man! (Love your boots...)
_____________
AZ, 32
Love your illustrations!
(18 yrs)
zombies creep and crawl
lurking in the night's shadow
wish they stood up tall
the fierce Beast is tamed
by love, by Beauty, by her
fresh hot pot of joe
---------------------------
scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch
monster with long nails coming
scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch
----------------------------
Shadows under bed
in closet, corner, hiding
they're afraid of Pop
On November 5th,
whoever wins, just say you
voted for Kodos.
Your half-chewed right leg
makes you miss all the fresh brains.
Zombies: always late.
Watching his figure,
Dracula makes sure that he
Only drinks O-neg
Age: 34
Lonely Yeti weeps
in his cave home all alone.
Please don't run away.
Gremlins dance outside.
Robed man kills them with shotgun,
then goes back to sleep.
Zombie craving brains
grabs my head, prepared to feast.
Groans, then leaves hungry.
Brown, naked monster
sounds like a monkey screaming.
Eats holes in your shirt.
Monster in shadows,
chic business suit wrinkle-free,
steals all your money.
From Chris and Amanda, ages 25 and 23. Big fans.
kaethe...hot cup of jo, that's great! LOL!
Boy, prize or no prize, this is definitely fun! Few more from me, I can't seem to stop myself...
Slippity Slop Slurp
Blob takes his lunch on the go
Gelatinous smile
Horns, scales, real sharp nails
That’s what monsters are made of
At least the bad ones
Deep into the night
Flashing teeth and glowing sight
Waiting. Watching. Wight.
Chris. 26.
Nessie breathes darkness;
Dodges all flashbulbs and film
Except one chance shot.
Dracula plops down.
Orders a Bloody Mary.
Leaves disappointed.
Mummies have secrets.
All that wrapping and groaning
Hides a poet's heart.
Natasha, aged 6:
Little Dracula
he wished he had a puppy
and a cat for blood
he went to bed and
dreamed he was on a nice cruise
reading about blood
fresh animal blood
such juicy, juicy, blo-od
Oh, he wished so much
From my son Noah, age 12:
Pitch black, stage in sight
The Phantom composer writes
Take a break Phantom!
Grey mist and green sludge
Black Lagoon creature rises
Red eyes glow through fog
The Boov come from space
They capture sea beasts at night
Alien sushi!
A gloomy church yard
Zombies wake up for the day
They dance the Samba
Natasha! You didn't just write a haiku...you wrote a whole little story! I love it.
We have so many talented kids here.
____________
Scaring me at night
Mighty arms flail ferocious
Oh! The backyard oak.
_____________
Z-Mom, 33
____________
Small, green, and furry
Sure looked like a kiwi fruit
Then it bit me back
_____________
AZ, 32
Another one's popped into my head...
"My head's not screwed on,"
said Frankenstein, "those are bolts.
As for me, I'm nuts."
This is my best friend
Mr. Macaroni Breath
I'm going to faint
by Julian, age 7
(yes, we were at EP library)
Must...stop...haiku...gasp gasp...taking...over...choke...liiife. Heh heh.
The crew be screamin’!
And the deck, she’s a’ rockin’!
Kraken attackin’!
Bring it from the grave!
DJ Mummy Master’s groove.
Undead in effect!
Deep, dank, wet, and dark
Drop a stone to see how long…
Something ancient moves
And here's a couple that don't have monsters in them, but Halloween coming up and all, it was on my mind. What could be a better combination, the Peanuts and haiku! LOL!
What’s that? Did I faint?
Did he leave us any toys?
I meant when! I’m doooomed.
I got a quarter!
Hey, I got a pack of gum!
Sigh. I got a rock.
-Dan, 37
Hey Adam! Your work is an inspiration! Here are a few goofy Haiku's from this 29 year old kid. :D
----------
From the grave exhumed
The dead regains its motion
Shamble on my friend…
Mine joints they do ache
From new follicles come the fur
I am the werewolf.
Bigfoot of the hills
It is he that we peruse
Who’s got the flashlight?
Oh, mad scientist
Laboratory in gloom
Wanting blood soda…
Ectoplasmic ghost
Floating justly above head
Stop dripping on me!
My love she is scared
Of the zombie giving chase.
Aim for the head, love…
Monster of the deep-
Where, oh where are you this night?
Loch Ness is chilly.
He comes in dark shroud-
This fright we call grim reaper!
His cloak needs dry-cleaned.
----------
Cheers!
The great author illustrator Douglas Florian, who is possibly too famous to win this contest, writes:
O ancient Rodan
Blast your uranium breath!
Don't pee on the snow
A few more.
----------
The hungry vulture
So disappointed is he…
Damn the rising dead.
Behind the old door
I do hear something stirring.
Oh my! Ghostly fart.
O jack-o-lanturn
Innards lit with a hot flame
You will be my pie.
Old witch with her pot
Eats plump children no longer
Sushi is so good!
Chihuahua werewolf-
The smallest transformation
Will swallow you whole!
----------
Okay, I'm done. :D
Veronica 9
Cerberus is sad
he wants a ball, a bone, and
someone to play with
Nice, Veronica... I would think that Cerberus might like three bones!
___________
I asked my Dad to close
My monster-filled closet's door.
Haven't seen him since.
Polyhedral dice
Random encounter table
1d6 owlbears
Hi, little brother. Had to throw in a few entries of my own, although they hardly hold a candle to most of them on here. What an amazingly talented group of blog readers you have.
Monster 'neath my bed
Snoring loudly through the night
Goodness, his breath stinks.
Drac saw the circus
Thought he might sample a clown
He tasted funny
Medusa is sad
Her snakes are shedding their skin
What wretched dandruff
Teenage manticore
You have extra challenges
In your awkward stage
Three-foot-tall kobold
Not too smooth with the ladies
In your platform shoes
Willful minotaur
You are always bull headed
Get it? Nuk nuk nuk
Sardonicus knows
The secret to his success:
Brush and floss daily
Shopping can be tough
Without soy-based substitutes
For vegan vampires
Black Lagoon Creature
Is seriously angry:
Who peed in the pool?!
(I am 46 going on 11)
Adam,it's not fair! Why should only kids get a Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich lunchbox filled with weird things? How about a Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich lunchbox filled with weird "adult" things for the big kids?
You know how old I am----
Monster under bed
Stomach growls, it needs to feed
Toes are first to go
Monster in closet
I should be scared, but I’m not
He likes dressing up
Monster at the door
Does he want to eat me, no
Selling magazines
Great beast in my house,
Why can't you stop growling at
my shoes on the floor?
Where is my brush now?
Did you take it again? I'll
play later, Frankenstein.
-----
Adam, thanks for setting up this contest, it's so rad. I've read a bunch of these, some are hard to top! Good luck to all
Eric,25
May I interrupt for a moment and ask that you consider reading about this charity 5K run I'm doing? Okay, back to the haikus.
Nate Baird (32) writes:
The small people flee
Why do they run from me so
When they taste so good?
Sure you should eat that?
I've heard goat's blood is fattening
El Chupacabra
Sickly Mr. Hyde
Makes appointment with himself
And sits down to wait
One eye gleams with hope
Cyclopean career bliss
Ophthalmology
one more....
Majestic Purple
Haunting Shadows through the Night
Rise and Become Death
Here are two from Josie, who was 6 when she wrote them. I understand she is now 7.
bad sandwich monster
lettuce hair, tuna brain cells
and stinky cheese butt!
monster has three eyes
really scared the pants off me
oh...my sister's mask!
THese are from Mrs. Cobb's fifth grade class.
Silly Frankenstein
Don't brush your teeth with a worm
That's not healthy
Joe Age 10
Dracula sucks blood
Making more Vampires tonight
A vampire army
Ethan age 11
Boogeyman Scary
So full of filty boogers
Please don't be snotty
Nati age 10
Whoo, Whish, eek! a ghost
He is flying all around
Trying to scare me
Jensen age 10
He is big and fat
Is addictied to cookies
He is a puppet
Will age 10
Goblins rumbling down
I peek from around the trees
Ahhhhh don't roll on me!!!!
Erin age 10
Barney eats up kids
Scary purple dinosaur
Parents wish him gone
Colton age 10
Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp
Do you hear something scary?
Go see...I dare you.
Kayla age 11
I'm the nine tail croc
My breath smells like dirty socks
I eat underwear!
Nouamane age 10
A black vampire bites
He sucks some blood from the neck
Has he tried root beer?
Ghost screeches in the night
Why does he scream at midnight?
He saw my brother
Zander age 11
Speeding through a lake
Weaving through a swarm of sharks
The Lockness Monster
Stephen Age 9
Hey there Mr. Rex!
Godzilla destroys
My family in New York.
HOW DID HE GET HERE??!
I'm 18 :)
Strong jaws ache to chew
Veins pulse under scaly skin
A mindless terror
Hiding in shadows
All hair and fangs and suet
Hungry for children
You should rethink this
Townfolk with clubs and pitchforks
Your bones look fragile
CAR-CRUSHING MAYHEM!
THIS SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!
Monster truck rally.
Mrs. Osborne's class
Night comes suddenly
The Vampire comes back to life
Runaway Right Now!!!!
Running for your life
A Vampire grabs your neck
End of story, bye!!!
Kara age 11
Scared of the Yeti?
Terrifying roller coas ---!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hang on to your seat!
Brett age 10
Bigfoot is lonely
Bigfoot gets a Chihuahua
He sits down, bye dog
Grant age 11
I eat Bigfoot’s feet
His feet are very stinky
Now he has no feet
Bobby age 10
Bigfoot is hungry
Bigfoot likes to eat hot wings
Where is Little Red Hen?
Dale age 10
Messing with Bigfoot
That is not a good idea
He will stomp on you!
Brooks age 10
Blackbeard was ugly
Blackbeard pillaged and plundered
Blackbeard lost his head
Montana age 10
He is a terrorist
Terrifying everyone
His name is Achmede
Rio age 10
They call me Drake, yeah
I can’t walk in the sunlight
When dark I suck blood!!!
Jordan age 10
Big Bird is scary
He has big yellow feathers
He is a giant
Morgan age 10
I really need to stop this...but here are four more....
Medusa
My neighbor's snaky-haired.
Saw her in her yard today,
And now I've t.u.r.n..e..d.....t...o..........
Near-Sighted Cyclop's Lament
Glasses with one lens?
One might as well try to find
Pants with just one leg.
Looking Out the Window
In the pale trees
The gray wraiths are gathering.
Please, won't morning come?
Chill
Ice, snow, rocky cliffs
Nowhere to hide from weather
Yeti longs for warmth.
Lily, age 5
His fingers wiggle
He reaches out his long arms
Stop, Tickle Monster!
Run away, MONSTER
It will take you forever
The monster is gone
Kaia 10
He is very mean
Eats children under thirteen
Leaves nothing behind
By: Knowledge Age 10
My name is Billy Bobby.
I don’t know how to spell it.
My favorite food is worms.
Chelsea 10
Creeping and lurking
Here he comes around the corner
In comes Blackbeard AHHHHHH
Caroline age 10
Kraken’s tentacles
It grapples around the Earth
Please do not eat us
Dracula up high
He’s eating a hamburger
with diet blood
Daniel age 10
A dragon breathes fire
It kills children everyday
The monster ruins towns.
Nalanis age 10
Are mummies real? Yes
Bodies are wrapped in paper
Who ever thought of that?
Cheyenne age 10
Sergent Skull Seaper
He kills with just dark magic
He is from the dead
Timothy age 10
Elmo is scary
He scares children everyday
Get rid of Elmo!
Caroline age 10
Dracula please leave
You don’t want my blood because…
because I am dead
Godwin age 10
The cookie monster
He goes into the trash can
to eat his cookie
Lindsey age 10
He breathes fire
A fire breathing dragon Ow!
I just got burned
Kristen age 10
A dragon strikes fire
runs in screaming terror WOW
hoping not to die
Will age 10
I don’t like Yeti
I really hate the monster
Please don’t come near me
Ryan age 10
Evil headless Bird
It flies in the pitch dark sky
Wishing for your blood
Kyle age 10
Roars, snorts, snarls, and gurgles
Flashing fangs and twitching tails
Monsters on parade
(The poster formerly known as "Radikin"...enough of the pseudonym stuff.)
A finger fondue,
Toasted slugs, mucus mint jelly,
It’s monster snacktime!
Godzilla is cool.
Sometimes he can be scary.
I like Godzilla.
age 8 and 3/4
King Kong climbs buildings.
He likes chimney. He says yea!
King Kong likes ground yea!
age 6 and 1/2
Using your illustration from your evening at the Elkins Park library (our 3rd or 4th time seeing you in the district?):
He doesn't scare me—
Mr. Macaroni-Breath.
He's the cheesiest.
By the way, I'm Cooper and Oren's 44-year-old dad. (Cooper was the kid who knew the riddle of the Sphinx and also shared the legend of Medusa...in detail.)
Here's two more haiku inspired by what might have been the worst of the Godzilla films——
Drive-in Movie night...
Godzilla and Megalon.
What's a Megalon?
Megalon the roach—
The JarJar Binks of monsters.
No respect at all.
(I'm a childlike adult.)
______________
Where can Godzilla
vacation and have fun?
The Tokyo Gardens!
Big happy Lizard
of a Science-Fiction kind;
wants some popcorn!
"You must be as tall
as this sign to ride this ride"
doesn't scare him!
There -- a waterslide,
Roller-coaster; soft drinks too (Godzilla drinks grape)!
You'll have such fun;
Godzilla will laugh so hard
soda comes out his nose!
He will hold you up
so you can be tall enough
to ride every ride
You can ride them all;
ride them, all night, and for free
As Godzilla's friend;
For even giant Lizards
Who swim in the Inland Sea
need a friend, like you.
____________
(Go Koobish!)
Nicole, a librarian at GW Carver Elementary in Salem, Virginia writes:
A monster who has
scary taste in music is
called "Tone-Deaf Phantom."
Haiku entry, Ariel, 8
Did you know to run?
Bick-a-boo Banana heads
They're here! They're here! Run!!
Haiku entry, Sherri, 41
I won't go to sleep!
Monsters scare me in my dreams
Monsters, monsters YIKES!!!
Ariel Age 8
Medusa has snakes
She'll scare you when you're sleeping
Hold a mirror up!
Eli, 13, writes:
The winter contest
who can touch the Yeti
without waking him?
Goblins, Ghost and more
Like to haunt the streets at night
then flee from the sun
Mothman fly's up high
below the bridge collapses
and he disappears
Your things start floating
for no apparent reason
it's a bored ghost
Drool and dribble drip
Where could it be coming from?
Does the Loch Ness live?
Hi Adam. Looks like there's some fierce competition brewing here. Adding to the mix is the following from daughter Kelsey (age 5). She hopes you like it.
Smelly swamp monster
eats slimy green frogs for snack
and burps out the flies
Fun contest. Thanks!
Veronica De Coster
From Anna, age 12
Scaly, green monster
Sleeps under my bed at night.
What a freeloader.
The monster glowered
With blood-shot, watery eyes.
Allergy season.
(btw, she's a huge fan of Smekday.)
From Gabe, age 8
He is big and bad
He is Frankenstein, he is
He is green and stiff
From Trevor, age 4
(it just sort of worked out that way ...)
Dad, I know what the
important thing about horned
monsters is: the horns
A couple more from my son Noah, age 12:
A rumbling snort
The minotaur awakes from sleep
Uh oh. Get out, quick!
Must bandages
The reeking odor of death
The mummies are out!
And the last several from me:
Flash of ancient eyes
Rush of hot sulfurous winds
The great wurm rises
A skeletal groove
Tunes by the light of the moon
Bony jamboree
Growling clueless grump
Visiting just for a day
Substitute teacher
Furry, funny, free
A tree top piggy back ride
My monster and me
Thanks again Adam for the contest, it's been tons of fun for both my son and I to go through this week bouncing goofy Haiku off each other!
From Jim, age 33
up from the village
like fireflies among brambles
torches and pitchforks
he roars his welcome
they reply in kind, but their
smiles are upside down
misunderstood wretch
a single tear slips slowly
from his stolen eye
zzzzt! wings in the dark,
horror flapping in my face
ah! just a stink bug
I am 49 and this is the monster my six year old son is most afraid of most of the time - stink bugs in the night.
be my valentine
you handsome bunny loving monster
even i dream of bunnies
age 13
has finished smekday but has yet to read any Frankenstein books by adam rex (who is really cool)!
We are no longer accepting new haikus for the competition. Any haikus posted after this note will be ineligible for prize consideration and will be displayed solely for the betterment of mankind in general.
Thanks for all your submissions. I'll have news soon.
Jake, 11, wrote a great haiku that couldn't be included in the contest, but I wanted to post it here all the same:
The longest winter.
Nessie frozen under sea.
Makes great tourist fun!
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