Monday, October 6, 2008


Those are a couple of Kaiju Haikus from my latest book, Frankenstein Takes the Cake. "Kaiju" means "strange beast" or "monster" in Japanese. A haiku (and I realize most of you know this already) is a kind of Japanese poem that usually has five syllables, then seven syllables, then five. Here's a not very good haiku that explains what a haiku is:

First, five syllables,
and then seven syllables,
and then five again.

This is all a very simple explanation of haiku, but I bring it up because I'm having a CONTEST! A KAIJU HAIKU CONTEST!
-Submit your best haiku about monsters in the comments. You can also email them here, if you prefer, and I'll post them. It doesn't have to be about a Japanese monster, it can be about any monster or monsters. Even one you made up yourself.
-It DOES have to be 5/7/5, like the examples above.
-You must include your age. The grand prize will go to a kid, but adults can win as well.
-I'll delete any entries I consider inappropriate.
-I'll take haiku entries through creepy Friday the 17th.
-Afterward, the winner will be selected by celebrity judges. I'll announce who these people are soon.

GRAND PRIZE: The kid who wrote the winning entry will receive an illustration of their haiku, drawn by me. It will be on fancy art paper and suitable for framing. This kid will also receive a signed copy of Frankenstein Takes the Cake, a set of Frankenstein wedding bubbles, and a Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich lunchbox filled with weird things.

THREE RUNNERS-UP, of any age, will each receive a signed copy of Frankenstein Takes the Cake with his or her haiku illustrated on the title page.

Teachers! Want to submit the entries of your entire class at once? Post them all together in one comment, or email them to me and I'll do it.

Enter Now! Enter often!


Kaethe said...

the corpse is burned up
the ash rains down around us
zombie dead in bloom

Kaethe said...

um, she typed sheepishly, I forgot to add that I'm 43.

Rooie said...

Hey, you didn't define kid. Does it help that I'm hopelessly immature? (I'm 53.) (And, a huge fan.)

widow's peak and black cape
flutters through the starry night
makes your blood run...wet

Mothra is mighty foe.
Sheepra quivers in fright. Oh!
Where is Mothballra?!

Kristi Valiant said...

From my husband Casey, 31:
scary mask, mouth gaping wide
he slobbered on us.

We just read Frankenstein Takes the Cake, and the two haikus you posted here were Casey's favorites. My favorite part was The Best Man of Frankenstein Makes a Trip to the Buffet. Very creative.

Daniel Hardesty said...

Oh man, this is too good to pass up!

The moon is high and full
Can’t--seem--to look--away--Oooooo!
Werewolf rhapsody

Have you seen my hand?
The living dead walk the earth
A worm’s in my ear.

Silly Frankenstein
Using a criminal’s brain.
What did you expect?

Creeps and spooks and ghouls
Hags and a goblin that drools
Strange? Nah, that stuff rules!

Big fan of Rex and Haiku at 37 big ones old. Heh heh. This is gonna be fun!

Daniel Hardesty said...

Slimy and alone
From the Black Lagoon he comes
He sure likes that girl

Art by Kristen Stein said...

Hi Adam-
I have two from my daughter:

(this one is 100% her creation)
Monster Lilly Butt
Had no hands but still could walk
She dances and Sings

(I helped her with the 'slithering' word on this one. :) )
Long, Lean, Loud and Mean
Slithering through the grass green
I am Monster Pea.

We had fun at your book reading this evening. Always fun!

Adam Rex said...

Thanks to both of you for coming to see me, Kristen!

What's your daughter's name, and how old is she?

michael parent said...

Hello Adam-

My son Jack & I are HUGE fans. I asked him to tell me about monsters and he gave me these 3 lines verbatim:

I love aliens.
One, two, three, four, five of them,
flying in spaceships.

He's 3 1/2. I'm 37 and I don't think I can top that.

Jason Michels said...

I wrote this about my friend whose online name is FlamingCat. She frightens me.

Conflagrant feline
A whiff of brimstone lingers
As you mete your wrath

Jason, 36 years old (today!)

Jason Michels said...

Here are a few more. I'm entering often, like you said.

Big rubber lizard
On MST3000
You are watchable

Why all the stomping?
Those buildings never hurt you.
Are your feet itchy?

Godzilla at home
Has trouble buying slippers
For his reptile feet

You are so awesome
Monster that I just made up
It must be your teeth

Jason, 36

DH. said...

Hi, Adam! I was introduced to your wonderful books and blog via Drawn! I'm 32 (for now) and here is my contribution:

-- Sasquatch: --

Sasquatch is hairy
He's also known as Bigfoot
Never met the guy

-- Nessie: --

Slipping through water
Graceful back breaks the surface
Rarely photographed

-- Yeti: --

Footprints in the snow
Trail off into an ice cave

Art by Kristen Stein said...

Hi Adam - My daughter is 4. You can email me for more information. I'm sure she'll have more to enter tomorrow.

Rooie said...

Okay, one more:

See Godzilla stomp
Buildings sway and tumble down
Someone needs a nap

Z-Kids said...

Flying straight for us
Furry clawed feet, mighty wings
Run and hide! Griffin!

Isaac, age 10

Z-Kids said...

Fuzzy pink monster,
she dances for kids at night.
I want to see her.

Gracie, age 8

Art by Kristen Stein said...

One more from I. age 4.

Fee Fee Fi Fo Fum
I Hear Mister Monster Thumb
Oh No. It's just dad.

Anonymous said...


Rising from the deep
with daggered jaws, jagging fins
Shark-Man! (Love your boots...)

AZ, 32

iamnatalie said...

Love your illustrations!
(18 yrs)

zombies creep and crawl
lurking in the night's shadow
wish they stood up tall

Kaethe said...

the fierce Beast is tamed
by love, by Beauty, by her
fresh hot pot of joe


scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch, scritch
monster with long nails coming
scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch


Shadows under bed
in closet, corner, hiding
they're afraid of Pop

Anonymous said...

On November 5th,
whoever wins, just say you
voted for Kodos.

Your half-chewed right leg
makes you miss all the fresh brains.
Zombies: always late.

Watching his figure,
Dracula makes sure that he
Only drinks O-neg

Age: 34

Anonymous said...

Lonely Yeti weeps
in his cave home all alone.
Please don't run away.

Gremlins dance outside.
Robed man kills them with shotgun,
then goes back to sleep.

Zombie craving brains
grabs my head, prepared to feast.
Groans, then leaves hungry.

Brown, naked monster
sounds like a monkey screaming.
Eats holes in your shirt.

Monster in shadows,
chic business suit wrinkle-free,
steals all your money.

From Chris and Amanda, ages 25 and 23. Big fans.

Daniel Hardesty said... cup of jo, that's great! LOL!

Boy, prize or no prize, this is definitely fun! Few more from me, I can't seem to stop myself...

Slippity Slop Slurp
Blob takes his lunch on the go
Gelatinous smile

Horns, scales, real sharp nails
That’s what monsters are made of
At least the bad ones

Deep into the night
Flashing teeth and glowing sight
Waiting. Watching. Wight.

Unknown said...

Chris. 26.

Nessie breathes darkness;
Dodges all flashbulbs and film
Except one chance shot.

Dracula plops down.
Orders a Bloody Mary.
Leaves disappointed.

Mummies have secrets.
All that wrapping and groaning
Hides a poet's heart.

Kaethe said...

Natasha, aged 6:

Little Dracula
he wished he had a puppy
and a cat for blood

he went to bed and
dreamed he was on a nice cruise
reading about blood

fresh animal blood
such juicy, juicy, blo-od
Oh, he wished so much

Daniel Hardesty said...

From my son Noah, age 12:

Pitch black, stage in sight
The Phantom composer writes
Take a break Phantom!

Grey mist and green sludge
Black Lagoon creature rises
Red eyes glow through fog

The Boov come from space
They capture sea beasts at night
Alien sushi!

A gloomy church yard
Zombies wake up for the day
They dance the Samba

Rooie said...

Natasha! You didn't just write a wrote a whole little story! I love it.

We have so many talented kids here.

Z-Kids said...


Scaring me at night
Mighty arms flail ferocious
Oh! The backyard oak.

Z-Mom, 33

Anonymous said...


Small, green, and furry
Sure looked like a kiwi fruit
Then it bit me back

AZ, 32

Rooie said...

Another one's popped into my head...

"My head's not screwed on,"
said Frankenstein, "those are bolts.
As for me, I'm nuts."

amy said...

This is my best friend
Mr. Macaroni Breath
I'm going to faint

by Julian, age 7
(yes, we were at EP library)

Daniel Hardesty said...

Must...stop...haiku...gasp gasp...taking...over...choke...liiife. Heh heh.

The crew be screamin’!
And the deck, she’s a’ rockin’!
Kraken attackin’!

Bring it from the grave!
DJ Mummy Master’s groove.
Undead in effect!

Deep, dank, wet, and dark
Drop a stone to see how long…
Something ancient moves

And here's a couple that don't have monsters in them, but Halloween coming up and all, it was on my mind. What could be a better combination, the Peanuts and haiku! LOL!

What’s that? Did I faint?
Did he leave us any toys?
I meant when! I’m doooomed.

I got a quarter!
Hey, I got a pack of gum!
Sigh. I got a rock.

-Dan, 37

Jim Stigall said...

Hey Adam! Your work is an inspiration! Here are a few goofy Haiku's from this 29 year old kid. :D


From the grave exhumed
The dead regains its motion
Shamble on my friend…

Mine joints they do ache
From new follicles come the fur
I am the werewolf.

Bigfoot of the hills
It is he that we peruse
Who’s got the flashlight?

Oh, mad scientist
Laboratory in gloom
Wanting blood soda…

Ectoplasmic ghost
Floating justly above head
Stop dripping on me!

My love she is scared
Of the zombie giving chase.
Aim for the head, love…

Monster of the deep-
Where, oh where are you this night?
Loch Ness is chilly.

He comes in dark shroud-
This fright we call grim reaper!
His cloak needs dry-cleaned.



Adam Rex said...

The great author illustrator Douglas Florian, who is possibly too famous to win this contest, writes:

O ancient Rodan
Blast your uranium breath!
Don't pee on the snow

Jim Stigall said...

A few more.


The hungry vulture
So disappointed is he…
Damn the rising dead.

Behind the old door
I do hear something stirring.
Oh my! Ghostly fart.

O jack-o-lanturn
Innards lit with a hot flame
You will be my pie.

Old witch with her pot
Eats plump children no longer
Sushi is so good!

Chihuahua werewolf-
The smallest transformation
Will swallow you whole!


Okay, I'm done. :D

Kaethe said...

Veronica 9

Cerberus is sad
he wants a ball, a bone, and
someone to play with

Rooie said...

Nice, Veronica... I would think that Cerberus might like three bones!


I asked my Dad to close
My monster-filled closet's door.
Haven't seen him since.

Jason Michels said...

Polyhedral dice
Random encounter table
1d6 owlbears

Anonymous said...

Hi, little brother. Had to throw in a few entries of my own, although they hardly hold a candle to most of them on here. What an amazingly talented group of blog readers you have.

Monster 'neath my bed
Snoring loudly through the night
Goodness, his breath stinks.

Drac saw the circus
Thought he might sample a clown
He tasted funny

Medusa is sad
Her snakes are shedding their skin
What wretched dandruff

Jason Michels said...

Teenage manticore
You have extra challenges
In your awkward stage

Three-foot-tall kobold
Not too smooth with the ladies
In your platform shoes

Willful minotaur
You are always bull headed
Get it? Nuk nuk nuk

david elzey said...

Sardonicus knows
The secret to his success:
Brush and floss daily

Shopping can be tough
Without soy-based substitutes
For vegan vampires

Black Lagoon Creature
Is seriously angry:
Who peed in the pool?!

(I am 46 going on 11)

Adam's Dad said...

Adam,it's not fair! Why should only kids get a Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich lunchbox filled with weird things? How about a Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich lunchbox filled with weird "adult" things for the big kids?

You know how old I am----

Monster under bed
Stomach growls, it needs to feed
Toes are first to go

Monster in closet
I should be scared, but I’m not
He likes dressing up

Monster at the door
Does he want to eat me, no
Selling magazines

Eric Braddock said...

Great beast in my house,
Why can't you stop growling at
my shoes on the floor?

Where is my brush now?
Did you take it again? I'll
play later, Frankenstein.


Adam, thanks for setting up this contest, it's so rad. I've read a bunch of these, some are hard to top! Good luck to all


Adam Rex said...

May I interrupt for a moment and ask that you consider reading about this charity 5K run I'm doing? Okay, back to the haikus.

Adam Rex said...

Nate Baird (32) writes:

The small people flee
Why do they run from me so
When they taste so good?

Daniel Hardesty said...

Sure you should eat that?
I've heard goat's blood is fattening
El Chupacabra

Sickly Mr. Hyde
Makes appointment with himself
And sits down to wait

One eye gleams with hope
Cyclopean career bliss

Art by Kristen Stein said...

one more....

Majestic Purple
Haunting Shadows through the Night
Rise and Become Death

Adam Rex said...

Here are two from Josie, who was 6 when she wrote them. I understand she is now 7.

bad sandwich monster
lettuce hair, tuna brain cells
and stinky cheese butt!

monster has three eyes
really scared the pants off me sister's mask!

Millis said...

THese are from Mrs. Cobb's fifth grade class.

Silly Frankenstein
Don't brush your teeth with a worm
That's not healthy
Joe Age 10

Dracula sucks blood
Making more Vampires tonight
A vampire army
Ethan age 11

Boogeyman Scary
So full of filty boogers
Please don't be snotty
Nati age 10

Whoo, Whish, eek! a ghost
He is flying all around
Trying to scare me
Jensen age 10

He is big and fat
Is addictied to cookies
He is a puppet
Will age 10

Goblins rumbling down
I peek from around the trees
Ahhhhh don't roll on me!!!!
Erin age 10

Barney eats up kids
Scary purple dinosaur
Parents wish him gone
Colton age 10

Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp
Do you hear something scary?
Go see...I dare you.
Kayla age 11

I'm the nine tail croc
My breath smells like dirty socks
I eat underwear!
Nouamane age 10

A black vampire bites
He sucks some blood from the neck
Has he tried root beer?

Ghost screeches in the night
Why does he scream at midnight?
He saw my brother
Zander age 11

Speeding through a lake
Weaving through a swarm of sharks
The Lockness Monster
Stephen Age 9

Anonymous said...

Hey there Mr. Rex!

Godzilla destroys
My family in New York.

I'm 18 :)

Jason Michels said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason Michels said...

Strong jaws ache to chew
Veins pulse under scaly skin
A mindless terror

Hiding in shadows
All hair and fangs and suet
Hungry for children

You should rethink this
Townfolk with clubs and pitchforks
Your bones look fragile

Monster truck rally.

Millis said...

Mrs. Osborne's class

Night comes suddenly
The Vampire comes back to life
Runaway Right Now!!!!

Running for your life
A Vampire grabs your neck
End of story, bye!!!

Kara age 11

Scared of the Yeti?
Terrifying roller coas ---!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hang on to your seat!
Brett age 10

Bigfoot is lonely
Bigfoot gets a Chihuahua
He sits down, bye dog
Grant age 11

I eat Bigfoot’s feet
His feet are very stinky
Now he has no feet
Bobby age 10

Bigfoot is hungry
Bigfoot likes to eat hot wings
Where is Little Red Hen?
Dale age 10

Messing with Bigfoot
That is not a good idea
He will stomp on you!
Brooks age 10

Blackbeard was ugly
Blackbeard pillaged and plundered
Blackbeard lost his head
Montana age 10

He is a terrorist
Terrifying everyone
His name is Achmede
Rio age 10

They call me Drake, yeah
I can’t walk in the sunlight
When dark I suck blood!!!
Jordan age 10

Big Bird is scary
He has big yellow feathers
He is a giant
Morgan age 10

Rooie said...

I really need to stop this...but here are four more....


My neighbor's snaky-haired.
Saw her in her yard today,
And now I've t.u.r.n..e..d.....t...o..........

Near-Sighted Cyclop's Lament

Glasses with one lens?
One might as well try to find
Pants with just one leg.

Looking Out the Window

In the pale trees
The gray wraiths are gathering.
Please, won't morning come?


Ice, snow, rocky cliffs
Nowhere to hide from weather
Yeti longs for warmth.

Z-Kids said...

Lily, age 5

His fingers wiggle
He reaches out his long arms
Stop, Tickle Monster!

Millis said...

Run away, MONSTER
It will take you forever
The monster is gone
Kaia 10

He is very mean
Eats children under thirteen
Leaves nothing behind

By: Knowledge Age 10

My name is Billy Bobby.
I don’t know how to spell it.
My favorite food is worms.
Chelsea 10

Creeping and lurking
Here he comes around the corner
In comes Blackbeard AHHHHHH
Caroline age 10

Kraken’s tentacles
It grapples around the Earth
Please do not eat us

Dracula up high
He’s eating a hamburger
with diet blood
Daniel age 10

A dragon breathes fire
It kills children everyday
The monster ruins towns.
Nalanis age 10

Are mummies real? Yes
Bodies are wrapped in paper
Who ever thought of that?
Cheyenne age 10

Sergent Skull Seaper
He kills with just dark magic
He is from the dead
Timothy age 10

Elmo is scary
He scares children everyday
Get rid of Elmo!
Caroline age 10

Dracula please leave
You don’t want my blood because…
because I am dead
Godwin age 10

The cookie monster
He goes into the trash can
to eat his cookie
Lindsey age 10

He breathes fire
A fire breathing dragon Ow!
I just got burned
Kristen age 10

A dragon strikes fire
runs in screaming terror WOW
hoping not to die
Will age 10

I don’t like Yeti
I really hate the monster
Please don’t come near me
Ryan age 10

Evil headless Bird
It flies in the pitch dark sky
Wishing for your blood
Kyle age 10

Daniel Hardesty said...

Roars, snorts, snarls, and gurgles
Flashing fangs and twitching tails
Monsters on parade

(The poster formerly known as "Radikin"...enough of the pseudonym stuff.)

Daniel Hardesty said...

A finger fondue,
Toasted slugs, mucus mint jelly,
It’s monster snacktime!

Anonymous said...

Godzilla is cool.
Sometimes he can be scary.
I like Godzilla.

age 8 and 3/4

Anonymous said...

King Kong climbs buildings.
He likes chimney. He says yea!
King Kong likes ground yea!

age 6 and 1/2

The Guy Reading Over There said...

Using your illustration from your evening at the Elkins Park library (our 3rd or 4th time seeing you in the district?):

He doesn't scare me—
Mr. Macaroni-Breath.
He's the cheesiest.

By the way, I'm Cooper and Oren's 44-year-old dad. (Cooper was the kid who knew the riddle of the Sphinx and also shared the legend of detail.)

Here's two more haiku inspired by what might have been the worst of the Godzilla films——

Drive-in Movie night...
Godzilla and Megalon.
What's a Megalon?

Megalon the roach—
The JarJar Binks of monsters.
No respect at all.

Mongo, At The Moment said...

(I'm a childlike adult.)

Where can Godzilla
vacation and have fun?
The Tokyo Gardens!

Big happy Lizard
of a Science-Fiction kind;
wants some popcorn!

"You must be as tall
as this sign to ride this ride"
doesn't scare him!

There -- a waterslide,
Roller-coaster; soft drinks too (Godzilla drinks grape)!

You'll have such fun;
Godzilla will laugh so hard
soda comes out his nose!

He will hold you up
so you can be tall enough
to ride every ride

You can ride them all;
ride them, all night, and for free
As Godzilla's friend;

For even giant Lizards
Who swim in the Inland Sea
need a friend, like you.

(Go Koobish!)

Adam Rex said...

Nicole, a librarian at GW Carver Elementary in Salem, Virginia writes:

A monster who has
scary taste in music is
called "Tone-Deaf Phantom."

sherri said...

Haiku entry, Ariel, 8

Did you know to run?
Bick-a-boo Banana heads
They're here! They're here! Run!!

sherri said...

Haiku entry, Sherri, 41

I won't go to sleep!
Monsters scare me in my dreams
Monsters, monsters YIKES!!!

sherri said...

Ariel Age 8

Medusa has snakes
She'll scare you when you're sleeping
Hold a mirror up!

Adam Rex said...

Eli, 13, writes:

The winter contest
who can touch the Yeti
without waking him?

Goblins, Ghost and more
Like to haunt the streets at night
then flee from the sun

Mothman fly's up high
below the bridge collapses
and he disappears

Your things start floating
for no apparent reason
it's a bored ghost

sherri said...

Drool and dribble drip
Where could it be coming from?
Does the Loch Ness live?

Anonymous said...

Hi Adam. Looks like there's some fierce competition brewing here. Adding to the mix is the following from daughter Kelsey (age 5). She hopes you like it.

Smelly swamp monster
eats slimy green frogs for snack
and burps out the flies

Fun contest. Thanks!
Veronica De Coster

MotherReader said...

From Anna, age 12

Scaly, green monster
Sleeps under my bed at night.
What a freeloader.

The monster glowered
With blood-shot, watery eyes.
Allergy season.

(btw, she's a huge fan of Smekday.)

J. Thorp said...

From Gabe, age 8

He is big and bad
He is Frankenstein, he is
He is green and stiff

From Trevor, age 4
(it just sort of worked out that way ...)

Dad, I know what the
important thing about horned
monsters is: the horns

Daniel Hardesty said...

A couple more from my son Noah, age 12:

A rumbling snort
The minotaur awakes from sleep
Uh oh. Get out, quick!

Must bandages
The reeking odor of death
The mummies are out!

And the last several from me:

Flash of ancient eyes
Rush of hot sulfurous winds
The great wurm rises

A skeletal groove
Tunes by the light of the moon
Bony jamboree

Growling clueless grump
Visiting just for a day
Substitute teacher

Furry, funny, free
A tree top piggy back ride
My monster and me

Thanks again Adam for the contest, it's been tons of fun for both my son and I to go through this week bouncing goofy Haiku off each other!

J. Thorp said...

From Jim, age 33

up from the village
like fireflies among brambles
torches and pitchforks

he roars his welcome
they reply in kind, but their
smiles are upside down

misunderstood wretch
a single tear slips slowly
from his stolen eye

Andromeda Jazmon said...

zzzzt! wings in the dark,
horror flapping in my face
ah! just a stink bug

I am 49 and this is the monster my six year old son is most afraid of most of the time - stink bugs in the night.

Viv Rae said...

be my valentine
you handsome bunny loving monster
even i dream of bunnies

age 13
has finished smekday but has yet to read any Frankenstein books by adam rex (who is really cool)!

Adam Rex said...

We are no longer accepting new haikus for the competition. Any haikus posted after this note will be ineligible for prize consideration and will be displayed solely for the betterment of mankind in general.
Thanks for all your submissions. I'll have news soon.

Adam Rex said...

Jake, 11, wrote a great haiku that couldn't be included in the contest, but I wanted to post it here all the same:

The longest winter.
Nessie frozen under sea.
Makes great tourist fun!