HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Suggestion for New Halloween Party Game

Two or more partygoers visit Google Image search and enter "sexy ________ halloween costume." If the world justifies your worst fears and the costume already exists, do a shot. If you're trying to get drunk you can just keep saying "nurse."

Here, I'll get us started. "sexy willy wonka halloween costume." Oops, my bad.

FOLLOWEEN

No ghosts are seen on Halloween,
except for kids in sheets.
No zombies ring for anything
apart from tricks or treats.
Though people say today’s the day
when bogeymen come out to play,
November 1st is when the worst
of monsters hit the streets.

And in disguise the dead arise
to sell us magazines.
In ties and slacks they hand out tracts
as fine, upstanding teens.
Just like the kids the night before
these horrors go from door to door
with vacuums, mops, or other props,
and boring sales routines.

It might feel mean on Folloween
to just ignore your door.
“A Girl Scout troop is on my stoop,”
you’ll mutter. “Nothing more.”
You want a snack so bad it hurts,
but trust me–those are ghouls in skirts.
With that in mind you’ll find
you’re not so hungry anymore.



From Frankenstein Takes the Cake, in stores now.

TRICK

“We’re not supposed to trick or treat the houses with no lights on,” said Jack.

“Can’t hurt to check,” Sophie answered. She readied her sack and rang the doorbell again.

The door was opened by a man dressed all in black. Like a ninja. He had a sack, too.

“Trick or Treat!” the kids sang.

“Oh, right,” the man said. “I forgot. Let me see.” He rummaged through his sack. “Here. A pretty brooch for the Little Mermaid, and a golden candlestick for the vampire.”

“Wow. Thanks,” said Sophie, looking at her new brooch. “We thought maybe nobody was home.”

“Nobody is,” the man replied, and he ran off down the street with his sack of treats.