Headless Horseman Here.

The sympathetic people at Tor.com have agreed to reprint one of my blog posts here, and I thank them.  Of course, I'm opening myself up to the usual sorts of thoughtless comments in the comment section, so I could use a little support.

Thanks, 

H.H.

The Contest is Closed.

We are no longer accepting new haikus for the competition. Any haikus posted after this note will be ineligible for prize consideration and will be displayed solely for the betterment of mankind in general.
Thanks for all your excellent submissions. I'll have news soon.

Mystery Judges Revealed

You may have noticed we're having a Kaiju Haiku Contest right now, and I am pleased to announce the contest's celebrity judges:

Jarrett J. Krosoczka!  You may know Jarrett 

from his book Punk Farm, or from his latest, 

Punk Farm On Tour.

Lisa Yee!  You may know Lisa's 

Millicent Min, Girl Genius or 

So Totally Emily Ebers.

Finally, Lane Smith!  

You may know his book, 

John, Paul, George, and Ben, 

or his latest, Madam President.

There's just a few days left to get in your entries.  I'll take them through Friday, October 17th.

Go check out the contest!

What terrible formatting.  I can't seem to get it right.

You've won this time, Billy Collins...

This is a little sad. My latest book, Frankenstein Takes the Cake, was reviewed in the New York Times Review of Books yesterday.  Not the sad part yet.  Wait for it.  Sales of Frankenstein received a small bump, insomuch as I could tell from the Amazon sales ranking (this is also not meant to be the sad part, though you may each of you appraise for yourself the existential sadness of checking one's own Amazon sales ranking).  While I was checking the progress of this ranking, my wife noticed that among books, specifically literature and fiction, specifically poetry, specifically United States poetry, specifically 20th century United States poetry, Frankenstein was currently the #2 seller.  Mine was the number two bestselling 20th century United States poetry book on Amazon.

There it is, right beneath former Poet Laureate of the United States Billy Collins.

Of course, the really funny (and also sad) thing here, is that my book wasn't even published in the 20th century.  But then neither were the books before it or after it.  That's Amazon for you.

Race for Hope

With everyone madly haikuing for the contest I mentioned in my previous post, I thought I'd try to grab your attention for a moment about a 5K run for brain tumor research in which I'll be participating on November 2nd.

Any small donation would be great.  If you're able, Go here, and click on "Donate Now."

Thanks.

CONTEST! Haiku!

Those are a couple of Kaiju Haikus from my latest book, Frankenstein Takes the Cake. "Kaiju" means "strange beast" or "monster" in Japanese. A haiku (and I realize most of you know this already) is a kind of Japanese poem that usually has five syllables, then seven syllables, then five. Here's a not very good haiku that explains what a haiku is:

First, five syllables,
and then seven syllables,
and then five again.

This is all a very simple explanation of haiku, but I bring it up because I'm having a CONTEST! A KAIJU HAIKU CONTEST!
-Submit your best haiku about monsters in the comments. You can also email them here, if you prefer, and I'll post them. It doesn't have to be about a Japanese monster, it can be about any monster or monsters. Even one you made up yourself.
-It DOES have to be 5/7/5, like the examples above.
-You must include your age. The grand prize will go to a kid, but adults can win as well.
-I'll delete any entries I consider inappropriate.
-I'll take haiku entries through creepy Friday the 17th.
-Afterward, the winner will be selected by celebrity judges. I'll announce who these people are soon.

GRAND PRIZE: The kid who wrote the winning entry will receive an illustration of their haiku, drawn by me. It will be on fancy art paper and suitable for framing. This kid will also receive a signed copy of Frankenstein Takes the Cake, a set of Frankenstein wedding bubbles, and a Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich lunchbox filled with weird things.

THREE RUNNERS-UP, of any age, will each receive a signed copy of Frankenstein Takes the Cake with his or her haiku illustrated on the title page.

Teachers! Want to submit the entries of your entire class at once? Post them all together in one comment, or email them to me and I'll do it.

Enter Now! Enter often!

I Only Steal From the Best

I love making up names for imaginary products and businesses and putting them in my books. MicrocosMart. The Wall Street Taco Exchange. Noda, the Soda Substitute. All of these appeared in my novel The True Meaning of Smekday, and one even appeared in Pssst!
Smekday also has a passing mention of a foodstuff called TUB! that comes with its own spoon. Last night I was watching an old Simpsons and noticed something in the following clip:

Is it a coincidence? Did I steal it without realizing? Dang.

Elkins Park Appearance

Just another note to say I'll be at the Elkins Park Library (in the Philadelphia Area) this Monday evening (the 6th) from 7PM to 8:30. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! Although it will almost certainly be a lot of reading and signing.

Right Back Atcha, Chicken Nugget Lemon Tooty.

No, I wasn't hit on the head while typing that title. This blog has been hearted by the kids over at Chicken Nugget Lemon Tooty, a blog of drawings by Issac, Grace, and Lily Zenz. They're always on my sidebar, but maybe you haven't visited in a while? Don't you want to see the best cut paper Jawa ever made?

NYC Books of Wonder

Just a note to ask all you New Yorkers (yes, all of you. Even the ones in the back) to come see me at Books of Wonder in Manhattan this Sunday (the 5th) from 1-3. And if you don't much care for me there will also be Jules Feiffer, Lane Smith, Kate Feiffer, Nick Bruel, and Diane Goode! Do you know how many Caldecotts there are in that group? I don't either, but it's a lot.

Character in Search of a Story #10

Haven't done one of these in a while.

CUMULONUMBSKULL
Drawn during jury duty!
Check out the other Characters.

Decatur, or, Round of Applause for Your Step Mother!

That would be a song title in the headline, there. And before you write to correct me–yes, I know that song is about Decatur, Illinois, and that I just got back from Decatur, Georgia. But I had it stuck in my head the whole weekend, all the same.
Thanks to the greater Atlanta area for being so awesome. I had a great time at the Decatur Book Festival.
Tony Diterlizzi caught this picture of me on stage during one of my presentations. I'd just finished a drawing based on audience suggestions, which this time turned out to be "puppy" and "cheerleading outfit."

Later, Tony and I got reacquainted at The Little Shop of Stories.

I experienced this phenomenon at least three times over the weekend: an untouched funnel cake, presumably purchased and then just left somewhere. On the edge of a trash can, on the base of a lamppost...this one was sitting conspicuously in the middle of a sidewalk as the festival came to an end.

I considered eating it, but thought it might be a trap.

Oh, By the Way...

If you're in the Decatur/Atlanta, GA area, please come see me at the Decatur Book Festival this weekend. I'll be reading and signing and trying not to feel outclassed by all the other authors there.

New Glasses

In her classes, without glasses, she could barely see the board.
With her specs she checks the teachers, sees their frightened, frozen features...

Oh. So that's why, when she raised her hand, Medusa was ignored.

From Frankenstein Takes the Cake, in stores now.

A Message From Adam Rex

We The Robots

Are you reading Chris Harding's We the Robots yet? Why not? Are you dumb?

NOTE: Not for young children.

Amazon.com–eerily insightful, or really stupid?

Lately I've noticed that the Amazon page for my new book includes this claim:

To be clear, Amazon is willing to offer you a special deal if you buy them together. My funny rhyming kid's book about monsters and their problems, and Alan Moore's dense, dystopian graphic novel about doomsday anxiety and the nature of heroism.

This is hardly the first time Amazon has surprised me with the odd bit of non sequitur. They've always had a sort of free-associative, Dadaist organizational structure there. One might have expected that Frankenstein Takes the Cake would be "better together" with Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich, its companion book, but...the thing is, I LOVE Watchmen. I've probably read it twenty times. I've finally sort of gently bullied my wife into reading it, in anticipation of the upcoming movie. Is Amazon being absurdly random about their pairings...or are they looking deeply into the souls of each and every one of us? Does Frankenstein Takes the Cake and Watchmen share some unexpected connection, like the one people are always trying to tell you exists between Pink Floyd and The Wizard of OZ?

When the audiobook of Frankenstein and the DVD of Watchmen come out, I'm totally playing them at the same time.

SCBWI Summer Conference

I was asked to be a member of the faculty of the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators Summer Conference that took place in LA a week ago. I had a really good time, and met all kinds of great people, and saw some great folks I don't get to see often enough. But I never bring a camera to these sorts of things, so the picture that Lisa Yee sent me of the two of us together will have to do. Please understand that I have my arm around Lisa here, but in a larger sense also have my arm around all the good people of the SCBWI, and around LA in general.
Read a much better wrap-up of the conference on Lisa's blog.

I also got to play with Lisa's Peepy:

BOOK! Shirt!

New product in the shop, for those who asked.

Headless HowTo

Jules over at the blog Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast just posted a loose sort of step-by-step of how I created this image from my new book, Frankenstein Takes the Cake. Why don't you pop over for a look?

Link

Headless Horseblog

Another image from Frankenstein Takes the Cake, in stores now. This is from the Headless Horseman's blog, Off the Top of My Head.

SHOP!

Folks have already been noticing the links to my NEW SHOP at right, or on my home page. There you'll find t-shirts, a bumper sticker, and the poster shown above. I just got a copy of it in the mail today, and I couldn't be happier with the quality.
I hope you'll have a look around, and maybe suggest other designs in which you might be interested.

The Best Man of Frankenstein Makes a Trip to the Buffet

Another one from the new book, Frankenstein Takes the Cake.

I've been getting reports from people who've already found the book on shelves, and Amazon is already shipping it, so I'm going to go ahead and say AVAILABLE NOW! NOW! There.
In keeping with the monster spirit, I recently purchased myself a Monstera Deliciosa, or Monster fruit. Here's a picture of it. These things are delicious. They taste like banana Sprite. But I can't eat this one until the scales fall off or it'll be poisonous. MMMMMMMonstera!

More Advertising...

...from Frankenstein Takes the Cake, in stores this September.

Witch Weight-Loss Program

...and with only one bucket of water a day!

From Frankenstein Takes the Cake, in stores this September.