Saturday, October 3, 2009

Inexplicable Tour Moment #1

So we're doing a 4 Guys event at a school which will remain nameless, and right before things get underway we find a pair of glasses on the stage. As the only bespectacled Guy on the tour I am especially concerned.

After our presentation I approach a teacher as he leads his class out of the auditorium. This teacher looks as if he's changing very slowly from Antonio Banderas into Keith Richards, and I've caught him at a sort uncomfortable middle stage where he hasn't the charms of either. But I tell him I've found a pair of lost glasses, and he looks at me for a good long moment. Then he looks at the glasses, and back to me again.

"Do you want me to crush them?" he asks.

Under different circumstances a question like this might have thrown me, but I've already completed a few school visits and am already in the sort of headspace required to roll with the often Dadaist questions of six and seven year-olds.

"No, actually," I answer, "I thought there might be some sort of lost and found."

Antonio Richards grunts and nods, as if reluctantly acknowledging this mysterious troubadour and his unfamiliar but equally valid non-glasses-crushing ways. He thanks me and takes the glasses, and ten minutes later I'm wondering if the whole episode really happened, and whether it might make for a decent blog post.


David Miles said...

I can see where doing a round of school visits might be akin to visiting another land or culture. Your ways are not their ways! Way to handle a delicate situation :). You could have started an inter-educational incident!

Rosemoo said...

That is one of the coolest and weirdest things I can imagine someone saying in response to your comment. Being a glasses wearer myself, I find it terrifying that someone would even suggest that.

It's always been my biggest fear around time travel. Losing my glasses.

Unknown said...


Suzanne Young said...

HA HA HA I like that you didn't flinch. Antonio Richards probably wondered why you didn't react. Good job getting inside his head!

Dan Santat said...

Hilarious. I have to say that's probably the greatest and most random answer I've ever heard to a simple question. You may as well have just asked that question to the Hulk.

Anita (twinnhalo) said...

About the glasses...I strongly agree with Suzanne..."No Flinching Please." I really enjoyed you and Mac at the Mission Inn Writers Conference. The Best Tag Team that I have seen in a long time. (I'm the lady that spoke to you about catipillers, and I also sat next to Mac at lunch)Please tell him to eat All of his VEGGIES for me. Anyway, I thought that I would check out your Blog Page, for just a bit...but found myself reading and viewing for over 2 hours. I can only hope that someday I will land on a publisher that will HOOK ME UP with an Illustrator as talented as you are. Well Done! I will visit again soon.