Common Sense

(Titled in deference to Thomas Paine's much longer blog post about the authority of the monarchy)

A post by Ben Esch alerted me to Common Sense Media (CSM), a group dedicated to informing parents about the appropriateness of books, movies, etc. for their children. This group has begun to partner with Barnes & Noble online to provide this kind of subjective information on its product pages. Specifically, Ben pointed me to the fact that CSM rates Judy Blume's Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret as inappropriate for children under eleven, "a little iffy" for kids eleven to thirteen, and only fully appropriate for people fourteen and up. In case you think you misunderstand that: CSM believes that Blume's classic about the onset of puberty is truly appropriate only for kids who are post-pubescent. Which I don't really understand, but they must have their reasons.

All this got me wondering what CSM thinks of my books. Let's look at The True Meaning of Smekday. They consider it a little iffy for eight-year-olds, fine for nine and up. That's roughly what I tell parents myself when they ask, so great! CSM also has sections titled "The good stuff" and "What to watch out for," in which praise or warnings are dished out on a 0 to 5 scale on a variety of subjects. Regarding "Violence," Smekday gets a warning level of 3. Okay. I would have given it a 2, personally, but Star Wars: A New Hope gets a 3 as well, and I think they're similarly violent.

Regarding "Drinking, drugs, & smoking," CSM gives Smekday a warning of 3. Reason? "Several types of alcohol mentioned." This is true. On I believe about two pages (out of 423) my narrator does mention alcohol. She even implies that her thirtysomething mother partakes from time to time. There is no actual consumption in the book, but merely acknowledging the existence of alcohol apparently is worth a 3 of 5–that's pretty bad, and I feel a little ashamed of myself. The movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, for example, earns a five, and the protagonists of that story consume absurd amounts of drugs, alcohol, and tobacco nonstop, even while driving, for days. Again, to be clear: there is only one step between my middle grade novel's depiction of substance abuse and that shown in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Oddly, if we look at Star Wars again we see that, while CSM recognizes actual alcohol consumption therein and the smoking of a pipe, it earns a warning level of zero. I'm guessing this is because Star Wars features only space alcohol and so forth. I have a lot to learn.

There are other things, but I don't want to go on and on. Smekday also earns a warning of 3 for what I'd previously thought was fairly PG-rated, prime-time language. It gets two frowny faces for "some racial tension between Native Americans and whites, and between African Americans and whites." I haven't read my own book in a while–can someone in the comments remind me which page the black-white tension is on? Thanks in advance.

But enough of all this negativity, lets get to "The the good stuff." What does Common Sense Media say are the positive messages in The True Meaning of Smekday?

There are no positive messages in The True Meaning of Smekday.

Okay! That about wraps up my post about Common Sense Media. This is Adam Rex, wishing you safe reading.

Happy Valentine's Day

I realize I haven't been posting much as of late. 2010 has really started off with a bang. And by "bang," I mean "existential crisis-level workload." But in honor of today I decided to search my hard drive for the word "Valentine" to see if I had anything kicking around. I know, it sounds so sweet when I put it that way.

Frankly, I'm sort of ambivalent about Valentine's Day. The arteries of it are clogged with hackneyed greeting cards and performance anxiety and stultifying expectations. But here's what my computer found, from a truthy sort of piece I started writing about the planets:

PLUTO– Scientists no longer consider Pluto a planet, but rather our Solar System’s second-largest plutoid. And if this sounds like a big consolation prize, the astronomical equivalent of a Valentine from your mom, you are right. It is.
I sympathize with Pluto, as scientists recently phoned to tell me that I could no longer be considered fully human, but would henceforth be known as the world’s second-handsomest adamrexian. I thanked them, expressed my appreciation that they called me personally rather than just letting me hear about it in the media, then spent the next several days staring searchingly into mirrors and crying myself to sleep.

And, because most of you probably come here to look at pictures, here's a rejected cover sketch for a humor anthology I'm illustrating–the first of a number of anthologies published under the umbrella of Jon Scieszka's GUYS READ. More on this anthology to come. For now I'll just say I consider this possibly the best failed cover idea in my history as a cover artist.

Book-alikes

I love this. The True Meaning of Smekday readers Stacy (mother) and Zoe (daughter) decided to let me know that Zoe IS that book's protagonist, Gratuity Tucci. And I'm not going to argue with them, are you?

Above is their approximation of the illustration that opens the book, below is the book's closer.

This made me wonder if anyone else out there ever looked at one of my books and thought Hey, his Frankenstein looks just like my Uncle Whoever or Wow, the way he draws Billy Twitters reminds me of my classmate, Whatsisname. Anybody got any photographic proof of something like that? Or maybe you just think one of my characters looks like a politician or celebrity. If so, send pictures or links to adamrex(at)earthlink(dot)net.

Own a piece of Frankenstein

So to speak. Some original art from my picture book Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich is currently part of a charity auction here. This is what it looks like, please pardon the watermark:

There's also a great piece of original Charles Schulz art from Peanuts if you happen to be rich, or have some money that was cursed by gypsies so that you have to spend it before the week is done else ill luck plague your house or something.

No offense meant to my Romany readers.

If you'd like to learn more about the charity, try here.

Shortlisted for an Edgar!

Just learned today that Mac Barnett's The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity (Brixton Brothers #1, which I had the honor of illustrating), has been shortisted for an Edgar Award in the juvenile category. Here are some of my previous posts about the book. So anyway, it's an excuse to post more images from this excellent book.

Here's my sketch for a tense scene in which Steve Brixton is hiding in his local library from a unit of special ops-types bent on his capture:

I actually took this sketch, blurred it, posterized it into a flat gray, and used that graytone in the final:

Finally, apropos of nothing, here's a cartoon I drew in high school. My old friend Grant just rediscovered this and emailed it to me. It may be obvious that I was working through sort of a Monty Python stage in my life at this point.

el Chupacabra

Another holiday gift for a different friend. This one also about four inches tall.

Aaaand, I'm Back.

Still playing catch-up after the holidays, but I thought I should get busy posting again. Here's a small (about 4 inches tall) painting I made for my agent as a holiday present.

Could not seem to photograph him without picking up a lot of glare. Maybe because the brushstroke to painting size ratio is a lot bigger here than usual. Anyway, his name is Don Calavera, and I see him here and there around the neighborhood.

The Flight Before Christmas

I thought I'd repost this for anyone who missed it back during the Thirty Poets Thirty Days event in April. Happy Holidays!

The Flight Before Christmas

'Tis the flight before Christmas. Our aircraft today
is a Boeing C-25 JingleBus sleigh.
At this time I would like to say "welcome aboard"
and please ask for all luggage and toys to be stored
in the space by your feet or the overhead sack.
Use caution untying the sack when you pack
as the toys may have shifted about during flight.
Santa gets a bit…dazed by the end of the night.
It's hardly surprising for someone who stares
for twelve hours at eight tiny reinderrières.
Plus the eggnog. Our point is, expect a rough ride,
but in two thousand years not one passenger’s died.
In the likely event of a freefall or dive
there’s an oxygen mask that will keep you alive.
We ask that you first find a mask for yourself–
put it on and pull tight before helping an elf.
Get your safety belt buckled, and keep it that way–
no standing or stretching at all in the sleigh.
Not a soul should be stirring, not even the mice.
Our pilot is quite the flotation device!
If we land in the water, hold onto him tight.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight.

The San Francisco Panorama

Things are going to be pretty dead around here for the next few weeks, but before I leave I wanted to post about something that arrived on my doorstep today–my contributor's copy of the San Francisco Panorama. It's a one-time-only newspaper that was sold on the streets of SF a few days ago. But it's also issue 33 of the McSweeney's Quarterly, and as such it will also be sold for sixteen dollars in bookstores nationwide and through the McSweeney's Store.

This thing is a packed, Sunday-sized newspaper with original reporting, fiction by George Saunders and Roddy Doyle, Stephen King on sports, David Chang on ramen, comics by Chris Ware, Daniel Clowes, Adrian Tomine, Art Spiegelman, and many more--and a children's games page, called the Rear End, edited by my friend Mac Barnett. He asked some of his favorite writers and illustrators to contribute--Jon Scieszka, Carson Ellis, Jon Klassen, Kevin Cornell, Jenny Traig, and Jon Adams--and he and I co-created our own feature called HOW TO SNEAK. So here's that. Click to enlarge:

Hey You Guys!

My mustache is gone but you can still support DonorsChoose.org and get a get a sweet piece of art to boot at the Hey You Guys charity auction. The auction is live now, and bidding has already started. Prices are still pretty low, though. You could currently grab my portrait of Andre the Giant as Fezzik (lower right) for 54 dollars.

Pictured, clockwise from top left, are works by Israel Sanchez, Dan Santat, me, and Shaunna Peterson.

Why not visit the auction site and see what else they have?

Mustache 2009 Wrap-Up

Mustache 2009 from Adam Rex on Vimeo.

Specifically, thanks to Gary and Chris Abbate, Mr. Israel Sanchez, Karen Taha, Michelle, Sarah Slocum, Cathleen McCoy, Anonymous, Joan Sandin, Jessica Olzak-McDonald, Ms Sacha Adorno, Anonymous, David Wiesner, Donna Bray, Nina Crittenden, Darrell Toland, Jacob Johnston, and Chelle Jenkins. And anyone I missed, either now or in an earlier post. Did I miss anyone?

Andre the Giant Has a Portrait

The second annual Hey You Guys charity event is set for December 5th at the Rialto Theater in South Pasedena, CA. There will be an auction of art inspired by family movies of the 80's, and a screening of Ghostbusters. All proceeds benefit Donors Choose, which is incidentally the charity for which I've been growing this damn mustache. So I've painted a little 5x7 portrait of Andre the Giant as Fezzik from The Princess Bride.

If anyone out there attends the event, let me know.

Halfway There

The month is half over, and I'm just two weeks from getting to shave this thing off my face. I think we can all agree it looks like a pair of doormats for my nose. My nose is a duplex in this metaphor.
Anyway, so far we've raised $655, and helped to fully fund two projects. The teachers have written back:

Dear Michelle, Chelle, Andrea and Kathie,
...Thank you so much for reaching out to a group of students whom you've never even met. Please know that in troubled economic times such as these, when educational budgets fall short, it's generous people like you that help us teachers raise up and educate a future generation of leaders, doctors, writers, teachers, etc.
Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.
With gratitude,
Mrs. N.

Dear Michelle, Andrea, Sarah, Kelly DiPucchio and Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation,
Thank you for believing in education. Your donation is a tangible reminder to me that there are people "out there" who believe in what I do with my students day after day. Words cannot express what a boost that is for me as a teacher.
...Students from years to come will benefit from having this classroom set of books available to all teachers on our campus.
Your generation is a gift to me as a teacher, to my current students and to students yet-to-come.
With gratitude,
Mrs. A.

Mac, Andrea, and Fox Family,
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Your donations come at a time when I needed the pick-me-up. This week our copy machine was either not working or the paper kept getting jammed, so teacher creativity and frustration took in to play. It's difficult to teach without necessary tools. I so appreciate your donations...
-Claudia

Claudia there hasn't had her needs fully funded yet. Maybe we can help her out? Hers is the project "To See, Or Not To See!"

Seven Impossible Thing Before Breakfast

Jules over at the blog Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast posts a very nice review of my book with Mac Barnett, Guess Again!. But maybe the important thing to you people out there who don't think I post enough non-mustache-related pictures is that she includes an illustration from said book which I have not shown here on my blog. Well, except as this tiny little thumbnail on the left. Want to see it bigger? Follow the link.

Cuddly as a Cactus, Charming as an Eel

And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch's small heart mustache grew three sizes that day. And then, the true meaning of Christmas Movember came through, and the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches mustaches, plus two!

Sorry I freaked out a few days ago. Since Saturday you and my mustache raised $469.30 for underfunded schoolkids, and we helped to fully fund one of the class projects. Thanks to Don from Arizona, Mac from California, the Fox family from Arizona, Andrea from California, Kelly DiPucchio, Ms. Sarah Rocklin, and big thanks to Michelle from Ely, Minnesota.

Let's keep it going!

Hooray!

I browbeat someone into donating 25 dollars! Thanks, Dad!
So here's another interior illustration from Brixton Brothers #1: The Case of the Case of Mistaken Identity.

Yes! Steve thought. I look more like a sailor than anyone in this place!

A Dark, Mustache-Shaped Cloud on the Horizon

I seem to have hit a snarl with my charitable mustache. As I mentioned previously, last year mustache pledges from you, my readers, contributed $1,165 dollars to underfunded schools. Teachers at those schools received the supplies they asked for, and everyone was happy. I have so far received no new pledges this year. I've been trying to consider arguments as to why someone would not want to donate, and I present these arguments below, with my responses:

I can't see that donation sidebar you keep talking about. A friend told me the same thing. His adblocker was....well, blocking it. Here's the link.

I don't believe the children are our future. Are you kidding me? The children are totally our future. Whitney Houston and I have disagreed on a lot of things (Bobby Brown, cocaine), but we agree on this.

You look like you're doing fine. That sidebar says you've raised over a thousand dollars. That sidebar says we raised over a thousand dollars LAST year. We've yet to raise anything this year. And that money from last year (which helped Philadelphia area students) doesn't mean a thing to the Tucson kids I'm trying to sponsor now.

I don't care about Tucson. I'd rather help kids in my own back yard. If they're literally in your back yard then they're probably your kids. Do they look familiar? If not, they may only need a glass of water and directions. Or maybe you mean metaphorically in your back yard. If so, follow the sidebar link to my giving page. At the bottom of the page is a link to "Search Projects," which you can use to find classrooms in your area.

That mustache looks really fantastic, yet you make it seem like this big hardship. Thank you, but I think it looks terrible. I suspect my wife, who is superficially quite supportive, also thinks it looks terrible. It makes me feel self-conscious and weird. And so, like a walk-a-thon or selling cheese logs door-to-door, it's something unpleasant I'm willing to do for a good cause. If you can think of something more unpleasant and you have a major credit card, name it. Maybe we can work something out.

Zoo Trip

Mustache for Kids

EDIT: A friend told me he could not see the donation sidebar on the right due to his adblocker. If you can't see it either, this is the link.

It's that time of year again. During the great month of Movember I and many other men across the globe will selflessly grow mustaches for charity. And look at this picture. I'm not even growing, like, a cool handlebar mustache. I'm growing a Magnum P.I.

So far it's more of a Steve Buscemi.

It's at about this point in the process that I always feel like I've made a TERRIBLE MISTAKE. Please help me stay strong by donating through the sidebar to the right. Your money will help teachers at underfunded schools get the supplies they need.

Last year we raised $1,165. I think we can do even better this year.

The Days of Wine and Cookies

You may know I went on a book tour recently at the behest of Simon and Schuster, and the publisher apparently thought they needed to express their gratitude in some fashion apart from paying for all my food, drink, lodging, and travel for two and a half weeks. So today the UPS man brought me wine and a batch of cookies featuring frosting photos of the Four Guys.

It's quite an existential hall of mirrors, eating a cookie with your face on it. Now I understand how people who look like gingerbread men feel, all the time.

The wine bottle sports a label showing us Guys raising the flag in a manner that's totally not disrespectful to our nation's veterans. Anyway, the bottle was an odd choice, as none of the Guys are big wine drinkers.

(cough)

Regardless, thanks, S&S! I got all this just in time for breakfast.

Amazon Vine

Recently, Betsy Bird of the School Library Journal blog Fuse #8 posted a critique of the Amazon.com "Vine Program" of customer reviews. For those of you who are unaware of the program, here's how Amazon describes it:

Amazon Vine™ is a program that enables a select group of Amazon customers to post opinions about new and pre-release items to help their fellow customers make educated purchase decisions. Customers are invited to become Amazon Vine™ Voices based on the trust they have earned in the Amazon community for writing accurate and insightful reviews. Amazon provides Amazon Vine™ members with free copies of products that have been submitted to the program by vendors. Amazon does not influence the opinions of Amazon Vine™ members, nor do we modify or edit their reviews.

Hardly seems problematic on its face, and I believe that the majority of Vine reviewers are indeed probably "accurate and insightful." But I appreciated Betsy's critique, particularly this quote. Parenthetical notation is mine:

Guess Again! (my book with Mac Barnett) is the straight picture book equivalent of a fractured fairytale, upsetting a reader's expectations, making it hee-larious to kids around the 5-8 year-old age range (I agree with Betsy's age recommendation here, though in the interest of honesty I should point out that the publisher markets it as 4-8). But the Vine program sent the books out to folks with small children who were then shocked SHOCKED when they discovered it wasn't for their tiniest of tiny tots. That would be fine, but then they felt obligated to leave tepid reviews in spite of the fact that they knew perfectly well that their kids weren't the intended audience.

Betsy's post has generated about ten times the comments she could normally expect, and these are mostly from Vine reviewers who feel she's being unfair. I originally thought I should stay out of it, since my book is one of the two examples she uses to explain her position. But that's cowardly.

Amazon reviews (and, presumably, customer reviews in general) have always had a problem with people buying books under false pretenses and then trashing those books for not meeting their ill-informed expectations. The trouble with Vine is that it seems to be institutionalizing these mistakes.

Literally all of the 19 middling-to-poor (3 stars or less) reviews of Guess Again are by Vine reviewers. Of these, a full seven, by my count, base their low rating on the fact that the book failed to appeal to a person for whom it was never intended. In most cases the reviewer was a parent of a 2 or 3-year-old. In one baffling case, the reviewer acknowledged that Guess Again! is a kids' book but explained, "...I am adult and not a 5 year old."

These people are essentially assuming that all clothing is one-size-fits-all, and then grumbling when a grade school uniform is too large for their toddler and too small for their husband.

I hope readers will understand that I do not mind poor reviews if they're thoughtfully written. Kirkus called my novel The True Meaning of Smekday "Inspired but problematic." They felt I'd missed my mark but at least acknowledged that I'd aimed high, and I preferred that review to some which were quite positive but described the book as nothing but a zany romp.

Anyway, the point is probably moot for a number of reasons. Poorly considered customer reviews are unlikely to go away, and they probably have less of an impact on sales than I think–I'm told, despite everything, that Guess Again! is doing all right.

Trash Day a Third Time

This week I thought I'd clean out all the old stories I have no intention to use anymore and put them out by the curb. This one is actually a painting from an old story–the first picture book I ever wrote and dummied up in its entirety. It was called Red, and it was sort of a postmodern urban retelling of the classic tale Little Red Riding Hood. I wrote and worked on this in the mid-nineties, and if you remember the picture book market around that time you'll know that the last thing the world needed was another postmodern retelling of a classic story. Needless to say, Red was never published, but I always liked the slow bus I designed for this scene:

I claimed above that I'm pushing all this old stuff to the curb, but the truth is I've recycled this bus design before, in my book Tree Ring Circus.

I hate wasting stuff.

4 Guys Tour Wrap-Up

Nice article over at Publisher's Weekly today about my recent tour with Jon Scieszka, Mac Barnett, and David Shannon.